I want you to be happy without me,wait,you are now. Be happy yeah? and stay beautiful :) #birthdaywish

2 more days til my birthday! And i just wanna go to the place where people can't reach me. Gonna off my phone,BE ALL ALONE,FUCKING THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING,SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT,FUCK EVERYONE,I JUST WANNA BE ALONE ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

At this time of the year,2 years ago,I made a stupid mistake. If i knew it was only a plan to surprise me,things will not be like this. Now,I look back,and I don't want to have my birthday celebrated,in fact,i HATE MY BIRTHDAY!! FUCKING HATE IT! I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THAT! I HATE MY LIFE! THEY SAY YOUR WORDS ARE DOA,SO YEAH,I HOPE TO DIE ON MY BIRTHDAY! THERE!

OMG! Just got a text from Miss Rahmah!! And Its Says

'Dude,was checking all of your work and your work made me CRY! Seriously,im amazed,never thought a boy like you have a big emotion and huge heart. Sorry i misjudged you,i guess you're not the guy i think you are. Great work kid,Parent's Teachers Meeting will be on the 5th and please,PLEASE tell your mom to meet me,i want to show her your work! Seriously dude,this,your work,im going to read this to all the ND students and tell them how good you are in writing an essay. Just a slightest mistake,and the rest are PERFECT! TO ME YOU JUST MADE YOUR MOM AND YOUR DAD PROUD!'

Alhamdulillah hi'Rabbil Alamin :)))))))))) I just got an early birthday present,i guess. Alhamdulillah :)

Tell me baby,if he's the one please don't throw it all away. Because you deserve someone like him,better than me...

No,nobody's fault here you know. Not your fault! People change! Feelings too but not memories. She found a new man,you found new friends. I know it's not fair for you because she found him while you don't have anyone catching you up. But rilex..Don't rush! Prove yourself you can get what you want,prove her you're the one and prove him you're hers not his! Allah is around you. He is always with you,he will help you! You saw her with him,its not the end of the world! The photos and all that will not stay forever,we grow up,not the pictures. Give yourself a chance,give her a chance,she fail,give her a chance again,over and over again. Like you said Why do we only get 2 chances in love when Allah will give us infinite chances in life? That! Be like that! Be like Nabi Muhammad. Bring and prove her you love her with the name of Allah.

Sigh. Ya Allah. :'(

Sigh..Stop! FUCKING STOP!

Just updated my Facebook with Timeline. Was browsing through the 2010 Timeline's wall and wallpost. Mahn,should've done that. I need to stop. Memories,Just Sweet Memories. I Miss Her. I Miss Everything. Sigh. Goodnight

Almadulillah,Saturday well spent. Surprised the birthday girl,Surprised Amal was surprised! LOL! Just they way we wanted! Went to Riverview after that. YES! Tired but twas Awesome! Alhamdulillah. :)

Amal: Thank you so much for today! I HAD FUN! I LOVE THE BAG YOU GAVE! LAWA,CUTE MACAM ORANG YANG BAGI :) EH KAMBANG! CAKAP KB SAMA YAZIDLAH!! KAMBANG BANAAAR ANAK PLIPPIN BJANGGUT TAPI CUTE ANI!!
Me: HAHAHA. Baie,plippin bjanggut tapi cute jua lah ah? HAHA. He's in KK,lama sudah. HAHAHA. Glad to know that! PAYAH SKILLING EH KAN SURUH TURUN BANDAR MAMA AH! WAIT,NO,NOT MAMA! YOU!
Amal: Kambaaaang! No wonder Mama suruh kbandar,pajal nya. Rupanya~ pandai sudah plan sama mama ni ahh! Cukur karang janggut ah!
Me: hehehe!

What the?! LOL,this is how they roll now. Asal marah,cukur janggut,asal marah cukur janggut! LOL! :-*

Just Me,You and The Almighty,ALLAH!

Hurt? Okay,yes! Good for you! Chill dude,you're moving with Allah now,you made your step. Every step you'll make,you're with Allah. Don't give up! Don't forget your shalats and duas. But let me warn you,don't you ever make her in doubt again,don't hurt her! Let her be the one,but DON'T HURT HER! JANGAN DI BALAS! You deserve to feel what she felt! Even if it takes forever! Remember! If you hurt her,you'll slip this! Show her that you were made by ALLAH for her and no one else. I told you,show her you are better than him. Tell yourself,you are getting better everyday,you are better now,better with the help of the Almighty. If she's the one,fight for it! Fight with the help of Allah. Everything we do,we are with Allah. Remember,Just you,her and the Almighty,Allah.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT

Alhamdulillah,Saturday well spent. Had breakfast with Mama at Empire,Coffee session with Miss Rahmah in the afternoon. Had dinner with the family for Yajid's birthday at Shabulicious,Batu Bersurat. And then went to kiulap to meet Amal,Seriously,at first i thought she's gonna be excited and all to see me,cause i am, but instead kena marahi buuiii hahaha,was supposed to meet her at DST Carnival but i didnt go. hehehe. Watched movie with her and her family,hung out with them,makan,makan,makan! Lampuh ni krg! Hahaha,I just got home! -.-" Tired but Alhamdulillah FUN!

You don't want to get hurt? Stop it then! FUCK YOU for everything,you're a guy,you are supposed to be strong. But look at you?! FUCKING WEAK! You cried infront of us. Dude,enough! I told you to fucking move on. Yes,it's gonna be hard,but every journey starts with every step. As of today,stop your feelings towards her,fuck that feeling,its gonna be gone. She's gone,so you gotta be.

THIS FEELING RIGHT HERE IS FUCKING UP MY MIND! YA ALLAH! HELP ME WITH THIS,HELP ME WITH EVERYTHING. :'(

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

YA ALLAH! :'((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Things like this,this fucked up mind make me sick. STOP THIS! FUCK! JUST STOP! STOP THINKING ABOUT HER! SHE'S HAPPY NOW! FUCK YOU,HAZMI! FUCK YOU! BOLEH SUDAH MATI MENANGIS NI?!

Im done trying. Im sick of crying everynight and pretend to be fine the next day. You're in a good hand now. He's gonna protect you,he'll make you happy,he's gonna take my place,forever.
Im done,seriously. Got a new line again,will never going back after this. Be Happy Now Girl,Go On!
Gonna move on with Bismillah,here we go! Bismillah

After what happened last year,im not even looking forward for my birthday this year? Forever? Can i not have a birthday? Better yet,can i go back and fix everything? How i wish.. :'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''(

JUST FOR ONCE I NEED YOU TO BE HONEST. JUST ONCE.

A text to remember

You're on the pedestal waiting for the wheels to move. But guess what? Its never gonna move. She just wants that assurance that you'll always be there for her when she gets lonely. Where is she when you're lonely? Nowhere to be found,you told her your feelings,she didn't,her ego is still there. She doesn't want to be with you but she doesn't want to lose you either. She don't wanna tell. That's ego! Show her it's her lost to lose you,and show her that you're better than him. Its gonna be hard,but if you keep this to yourself and if you think about it,its unfair for you. Go on,move! Move with Bismillah. Move with Allah,move to your journey of happiness. But if you choose to stay,stay with Allah,pray hard,she'll find a way to be with you again. Forget her cousins,its not them that you're gonna be with,its you,both of you. Both of you and Allah,both of you and your happiness,her cousins can hate,but Allah will not.

AND IM LOST! YA ALLAH HELP ME! :'''''''''''''''''''''(

I HAVE TO STOP THIS!
I MUST! YA ALLAH! :'(

You found him,you found love.
I wish i was him. What a lucky guy.

THIS FUCKING CHEST WON'T FUCKING HEAL! ALRIGHT,IT HURTS! PLEASE,STOP SUFFERING ME,DON'T DO THIS..ARRGHHH! YA ALLAH :'(

in all honesty, i’m good at pretending but i must admit, it is not easy for me to do so. it’s very tough. so tough that i might break down and i don’t think i’m ready for people to see the vulnerable me just yet.
actually i don’t want to pretend, i hate not being real. it makes me over-think things and i hate being paranoid. i really wish i could turn back time and undo what i did.
i miss you,there i said it. I Miss You Alot,Khairunnisa Manan. I Really Miss You.

Gonna sleep with this song tonight. On repeat! Gonna fuck myself up! Let the crying begins!

I wonder if you miss me too. Oh well..Ya Allah! Bismillah

So apperantly everyone in the circle have confessed their feelings,Megat confessed his feelings towards Amal,Adek confessed to Piee,Pipah now is madly in love with her new boyfriend,same goes to Nash,Nina went back with her ex-boyfriend,Acap confessed his feelings to this one girl. Oh Well,i'll be fine alone. :) I have Allah.

I told myself I won't miss you. But I remember what it feels like beside you. I really miss your hair in my face. And the way your innocence tastes. And I think you should know this. You deserve much better than me.

and how do you delete this blog?

Changed my number. And i hope its the best way to dissapear. Bismillah

This part right here is the worst feeling in life. But i'll never forget you tho. Be happy now baby.

I....... sigh

Lajid: mana you?
Me: home manis rumah!
Lajid: bh,makan?
Me: inda,diet,mahu kurus lagi tapi boleh lah di rumah pun nada makanan. Bh mana?
Lajid: bh di your house lah,nada makanan ah,pasal i pun kan diet ni.
Me: -.-' tamparan belipat flying kick sambal kismis!
Lajid: hahahahahaha! Ilekshaa baus~ :P

Haha missing the family so bad! Didnt have the time to be with lajid and yusri just yet,assignments betimbun mcm BAEEE! One more task and IM FREE LIKE A BIRD!

Al-Fatihah. We'll miss you nini angah bini. Ya Allah,tempatkan ia bersama orang2 yang beriman dan jadikan lah ia salah seorang wanita soleha yang di tempatkan di syurga seperti Saidatina Khadijah. Amin. Al-Fatihah

Here To Wait!

19th

After 2 weeks of MIA,Its good to be back with the familia,spent a lovely evening with mummy,bilah,yajid,yusri and niqy.

Another day well spent with the family,thank you Allah!

oh,happy 3 years 8 months to lajid and amal. kahwin tah nya mummy! hoho

MARLING!

I MISS DAD!

Miss Ummi told me that someone in the school complained about me being with different girls,everytime and its funny how i got a warning about that. Told mama about it and she was 'Eh,gila jua skulah kamu atu! kau jalan sama bini2 pun inda dapat? orang jealous arah anak mama tu,iatah ia complain,skulah kanak2 kah sekolah perdagangan ani? pasal atu pun kan di complain?'

SO, BITCHES IN SCHOOL,GROW UP! INDA PUAS HATI CAKAP DAPAN-DAPAN! JANGAN MAIN COMPLAIN ARAH TUTOR! JEALOUS IKUTKAN BAH,MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS YOU BUNCH OF LIL KIDS! MAY ALLAH BLESS YOU GUYS,SELAMAT DUNIA AKHIRAT! .l. :)

B.E. PRESENTATION TOMORROW AND I HAVEN'T PREPARE ANYTHING YET! FML!

WARNING! GUYS,NEVER EVER LEAVE YOUR CAMERA TO GIRLS OR ELSE THIS MAY HAPPEN! :S

Baby Gbah left last Monday,Danial left last Wednesday and Diqin will be leaving for UK tomorrow. Goodluck guys. We'll miss you. I WANNA GO AND GET SCHOLARSHIP PUN!! Amin.

I miss you!

While i was in Ripas crying/waiting for Bapa Tua,Amal texted me saying,'Myy,all of us in the class even Sir Erwan,Sir Nazirul,Mrs Rosnah and Miss Fizah ada sini baca yassin for your grandfather,for his health. Be strong boy! Our prayers are with him,you and your family. We love you,I love you and i hope he's doing fine.'

Man,i don't know what to say to all of them,THANK YOU SO MUCH,MAY ALLAH BLESS EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE. You guys are the greatest,PD/BNF/16. To all the tutors,i know im such a cocky snob in class,im sorry,Thank you so much! I LOVE YOU GUYS,REALLY APPRECIATE WHAT YOU GUYS DID.! :')

Get Well Soon,Bapa Tua. :'(

My presentation's results are out today and guess what??? I got A2 for WIO and B1 for my Business Environment,the best so far amongst all the PD classes. Hehe,Alhamdulillah. Thank You Ya Allah :))))

The Worst Feeling In Life Is Loving Someone That Don't Loves You Back!

I THINK I GAINED ALOT THIS RAYA,AND ITS ONLY 4th SYAWAL! HOWDIIIIIISSSS?? HAAA OVER!!

Well,i received $679 from aunties and uncles on first raya,nini gave me $200 before raya,that'll make it almost 900,belum lagi uda,acai,buamet,bungsu bagi,odaaaaaaaah kayaaaa! arah kawan2 lagi belum,hehehehe $__$

Oh,guess who's back to bandar later??? AMALINA! YES,AMALINA! :))))))))

Amal: salam! hey boy,tell mama i'll be in bandar tomorrow :D
Me: waalaikumsalam! hey girl,mama siapa? my mama or yours?
Amal: duuuuuh,indakan my mama?
Me: hahaha,awwwrite. eh,sejak bila panggil my mama,mama? odaaaaaah
Amal: they say,if sukakan the anak mesti skill arah mamanya dulu k?
Me: macam tebalik mal? bukan lelaki mesti skill arah mama the girl or is it normal sudah nowadays?
Amal: entaaaah hahaha,talur eh hahahaha melayaaan kau ah hahaha
Me: mama tanya you tidur sama ia kah sama me? if sama mama,tidur di jamban,if sama me,you tidur di lantai,i tidur di katil.
Amal: asal tidur rumah you k? *melayan*
Me: bah luar my rumah saja ah mal,jadi security?
Amal: asal i tidur rumah you k? *majal sekali lagi ku tampar ni*
Me: ngam tah udah tuu wah you balik bandar ah,i panggil open house on monday,dapat jua tolong mama cuci pinggan k? kata kan skill arah mama? *ganas bini2nya ani,betudung saja,tapi penampar,cemana boleh si ...... suka bini2 ani kan?*
Amal: for mama and you,i will k? *tamparan sayang wah tu*
Me: hahahahahaha! MACAM BAEEEEEEEEE! HAHAHAHA! GILA KU MELAYAN KAU ANI MAL,HAHAHA! CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU LATER!
Amal: hahaha talur eh! cant wait to see you too! excited ku eh! :D

I swear to God,i was really happy to see you. That smile,i've been longing for that. Thank you ALLAH. Thank You So Much.

:)))))

Oh hey,Eid Mubarak Sisters and Brothers.

Fourth Raya Without You. We Miss You. I Am Sorry! I Love You So Much,Al-Fatihah

18th

I Know You're Worth My Waiting and Fighting For.

So Baby Please Smile,Cause I'm Always Around You. And You Know,Life Is For You And Me.

There's A Rainbow Always After The Rain. Even If There Is Pain,Everything With You Would Be Alright Cause You're Strong,Stronger Than Ever,Stronger Than You Thought. My Faith In You Is Clear. Just Celebrate Life That's So Beautiful. I Know Life Is Full Of Challenges,So Baby Just Smile Cause Eventhough We're Not Together Anymore,Eventhough We're Apart,I'm Always Around You. I MISS YOU and I Mean It.

This is the third time i bought a new line,i hope this is a keeper. But im not sure when to use it. Sigh

:( يا الله

Me: buuu,tahun ani aku inda beraya. Malas putung kain,nada mood ku.
Nini: eeeh awangkuu,mulut mu atu,bisai2!
Me: mahal bah memutung,kan beli kasut lagi,inda beduit.
*Nini took her money from her bag and gave me $200*
Nini: nah,putung baju raya sama beli kasut baru.
Me: aaah,kalau tiap2 tahun cemani baru ku mahu beraya :P
Cousins: AKU INDA MAHU BERAYA TAHUN ANI BUU,MAHAL BLA BLA BLA...

Hahaha EPIC WIN! Love You Nini ;)

Miss Fizah approached me today and told me the reason why the tutors selected me as a Student Council is because i did well in every subjects on our first assestment. Distinctions in WIO,BE,Common Skill,LNC and PC. Only a Merit in Finance. Alhamdulillah,Im proud of myself. :D

Dk. Aini Arini,Happy Belated. I Miss Having You Around. Be Happy There,Dear Angel. I Miss You. Love. Al-Fatihah.

You May Say Bad Things About Me. You Can Hate Me All You Want. But Im Still Learning. Im Sorry I've Never Been The Best Of Man,The Best Of Friend,The Best Of Everything. I've Made My Mistakes,You Made Yours. That's How Love Works. Im'ma Sucker On This Game & I Think,Love Was Not Made For Me. Im'ma Go Now. So,Goodluck,Take A Chance,Enjoy Every Moment In Life. Thank You.

Got selected as a Student Council by the Tutors today. Alhamdulillah,im proud of myself.

ITS NOT FAIR! YOU FOUND SOMEONE NEW TO LOVE. HE WAS THERE TO COMFORT YOU WHILE I WAS BUSY FUCKING AROUND. HE MADE YOUR DAY,HE MADE YOU SMILE BUT LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO HIM? DO YOU THINK ITS EASY TO LET GO? I HAVE TO CARRY THIS FAKE SMILE AT SCHOOL,I HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERY BULLSHITS EVERYDAY. HERE'S TO MY BEAUTIFUL LIFE,FUCK YOU!

Did my presentation on BE this morning,and im REALLY PROUD of myself. Sir Nazirul told me that im the first PD student that scored A in both common skills and presentation. Alhamdulillah. Just the start i needed.

But With This Type Of Love,Forever Ain't Enough.

17th

Every Night,Im Praying The Impossible. Hoping That You'll Come Back To Me One Day. I Miss How Amazingly Beautiful That Smile You Put On Your Beautiful Face,I Miss The Way You Look At Me,I Miss Holding Your Hands,I Miss Kissing Your Forehead,I Miss You. No,Im Not Gonna Lie To Myself Anymore,I Know I Made A Stupid Mistake,And I Know You Won't Forgive Me After What I've Done. I Know I Was Wrong,But Im Gonna Fight For You,I'll Take Care Of You And I'll Wait For You. I MISS YOU.

Every single day is like we're riding on a rollercoaster. At times we go up slowly and there comes a point we fall harder,harder than we are least expected. Its up to us to climb back or just let us fall and fail. And at the end of the ride,we go straight,straight to success or to fail our path of life. We have to enjoy every single ride of our own life. Allah will always be with the one who never give up. There will be blessings in every struggle. And that's the promise by Allah. Allahuakhbar.

Bismillah.

Its Pointless. Ya Allah,Stop Everything,Please. Bismillah

My Throat Is Killing Me! :(

I Still Need You In My Life.

I know you will be fine without me.

I know you don't. I have to stop this. But you should know,i won't move on till you're happy with someone. And by that time,you don't have to worry about me,i'll be fine. As long as you can put that smile back on your face.

Ya Allah,im sorry but im tired. End this soon please,its killing me.

and i know its not me.

No?

I don't even know where to start. And i don't know which way to go. But all i know is,i can't turn around,again.

Again? Why YA ALLAH? :'( I Just Wanna Be Happy,I know you know better but its impossible. I don't know what to feel anymore. Stop this please? Stop giving me the signs! Please Ya Allah,Please!

Ya Allah,Ya Rahman,Ya Rahim. I Beg You. :'(

MasyaAllah Ya Allah

I was watching Chuck just now and SARA JUST STOLE MY LINE!! MY 'SHUT UP AND KISS ME' LINE. BOLEH KU SUE? :(

I still have the one dollar you gave me on our first date. Coffee Bean,remember? haha :)

16th today

I know you will. Goodluck :)

Sorry,i can't find your dad's kubur just now,but i'll find it myself next week. Remember this,once I found his kubur,im going to visit him every week. :)

Hey uncle,im sorry if i let you down. But i promise i'll take care of her for you. And Insyallah i'll visit your kubur every week. Al-Fatihah.

I left you before because i need my time alone,to save our relationship,to be better. But i guess,i came too soon. I never meant to do this,i'm sorry but you see,this time,i will never ever leave. Not til you're happy. And that's a promise.

Ya Allah,If You Want To Make My Life Miserable,At Least Keep My Head Up Straight. If You Want To Make My Life Miserable,At Least Put A Smile On Her Face. Ya Allah,Im Sorry,I Haven't Been The Best Of Your Servant. Ya Allah,Guide Me To Everywhere I Go,Every Path Im Going,I Know You're Near. Ya Allah,Make Her Happy. Ya Allah,Send Her A Better Guy. I Don't Want Anything For Me,Ya Allah. I Just Want Your Love.

Ya Allah,Make Her Happy,Make Her Happy,Make Her Happy.

New line,new number,new life. :)

I WANNA STAY IN THE PHILIPPINES FOREVER! DAPAT KAH? :'(

YA ALLAH!

If you like someone,DO NOT THINK OF SOMEONE WHO LEFT YOU. IF YOU HAVE A DREAM,CHASE IT! DON'T LET SOMEONE PUT YOU DOWN,PERIOD!

GOODLUCK BEAUTIFUL :)

I WANNA GO PHILIPPINES WITH MAMA THIS AUGUST,SPEND THE WHOLE RAMADAN AND RAYA THERE LIKE 2 YEARS AGO. AND DECEMBER TOO,SO I CAN GO CELEBRATE MY STUPID BIRTHDAY,WHERE NO ONE REMEMBER MY FUCKING BIRTH DATE. I JUST WANNA STAY THERE! FAR AWAY FROM EVERYONE,NOT TO FUCKING HURT PEOPLE'S LIFE ANYMORE,NOT GIVING ANY SHIT! I JUST WANNA FUCKING DIE THERE!

MY LIFE IN BRUNEI SUCKS! I JUST WANNA GO FAR AWAY! FAR FAR AWAY FROM THIS CRUEL LIFE!

YA ALLAH SORRY,BUT PLEASE STOP EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW,IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR ALL OF THIS. :'(((((

PA,WHY DO HAVE TO LEAVE SO SOON PA? WHY YOU? WHY NOT ME?

You See,We Never Really Say Goodbye. And I Don't Wanna Be The First To Say It.

Gotta stop everything now. Sigh. Wish me luck,Bismillah.

Last Friday the khutbah was about Father's Day. We,as a Muslim cant celebrate Father's Day or any other occassions that are not related to Islam. We muslims celebrate Father's Day,Mother's Day not once a year,but every single day.

Well,im gonna celebrate Father's Day everyday from now. So,Pg Hj Yakub Bin Pg Hj Aliuddin,I Love You So Much. And as for you Uncle Abdul Manan bin Hj Othman,Thank you. I know both of you are in the safest place now,both of you are happy there. Amin

Al-Fatihah for both of you and for all the muslims who passed away. Semoga tergolong orang-orang yang beriman bersama Rasulullah. Amin

Thank you,Ya Allah. :)

Ya Allah,Please? :'(

One Day,InsyaALLAH.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. IM NOT ALONE,ALLAH IS WITH ME.

GIVE HIM A CHANCE,YOU BOTH ARE BETTER TOGETHER. YOU LOVE HIM,HE LOVES YOU,HE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU,AND I KNOW WITHOUT HIM,YOU'RE NOT STRONG. HE MADE YOUR DREAMS CAME TRUE. GIVE HIM A CHANCE. WELL,IF HE FAILED AGAIN AND AGAIN,JUST GIVE HIM A CHANCE. STAY WITH HIM. HOLD ON TO HIM. BE HAPPY. BE TRUE. DON'T LIE TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL HEART AND MIND.

DON'T YOU DARE CARING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO LEFT YOU,THEY'RE NOT WORTH YOUR LIFE. DON'T TURN BACK. MOVE FORWARD.

Ya Allah,Make her happy. Make her happy. Make her happy. Send her a better guy,send her a better guy,PLEASE YA ALLAH,SEND HER A BETTER GUY,MAKE HER HAPPY. AMIN.

I cant promise you everything what you asked me to do,but I promise you uncle,even if we are not meant to be,i will always look after your daughter. I can promise you that. Al-Fatihah,keep smiling for her.

Jangan tinggal kan apa yang selalu kau buat malam-malam,istikharah. Sabar,sikit lagi tu. Istikharah lai,Istikharah. Minta arah Allah. And then he told me something that i will keep this for the rest of my life. Insyallah uncle,I won't let you down. Al-Fatihah.

YAAAAA ALLAH! :'(((((

Im sorry uncle,i cant make your beautiful angel happy anymore. :'( Im really sorry. But Insyallah,i'll promise you,i'll take care of her. Even when she's not mine. Allahuakhbar. :'(
And im sorry pa,your son is such a failure. :'( I miss you

Al-Fatihah for both of you,Pg Hj Yakub Bin Pg Hj Aliuddin and you Uncle Abdul Manan. Thank you for this Ya Allah. Thank you so much :'(

Ya Allah. :'((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Just like him,i'll wait for you too.

Kejarlah impianmu,jika tidak kesampaian,maka,berusahalah untuk mendapatkannya. Dan jika usahamu itu gagal,maka,ketahuilah bahawa الله berada di sisimu dan dia mempunyai tempat untuk orang2 berusaha dan beriman.

Sometimes in life,in order to win,you have to lose things or someone you love. It will not make you weaker but it will make you a better person. And by that,by the time you are better,you will win things,not everything,but things that you've lost,Insyallah.

Ya Allah,jika keputusan ku itu benar maka,kau jadikan lah aku seorang hamba yang bersifat Rasulullah. Tunjukkanlah kepadanya seseorang yang dapat mencintainya. Dan jika keputusan ku itu salah,aku memohon kepada mu,aku redha dengan apa yang engkau putuskan kepadaku dan kepadanya. Amin.

Goodnight,Goodnight Nisa.

There's this time in life where you have to choose between the better or not. But before you choose,im going to back off cause i know im not good enough for you. I can tell that he loves you and he can make you happy. Give him a chance,just once. Everyone is happy to see both of you together.

I know I've been praying day and night just for you to come back,and Allah showed me everything. I have hope because I believe in Everything that Allah planned. But from now I'll be praying for someone better to be with you,someone who can make that beautiful smile on your face. Someone better. InsyaAllah.

No,im not giving up. but if that'll make you and people around you happy,i just have to leave,Lillahi Ta'ala.

Thank you,Ya Allah. Thank you for showing me her beautiful face everynight in my istikharah. Thank you for sending me one of you beautiful creations. Ya Allah,i just need one wish from you, i just want you to show her and let her know how much i really love her,just that. But please,send her someone better. Someone that can make her smile. She deserves to be happy.

Sorry,i don't have the courage to follow you back. I don't want to see the pictures of you and him. I swear to God,I'll hurt myself even more if i saw it.

I wish someone could take good care of her,that beautiful angel. Sigh. Someone better.

Its so good to see your 'hahaha' again. I miss that,i havent seen that for a long time. :) I miss you

Love is something that's not made for me.

Someone gave me this song. I still remember the things she told me,'if im far don't reach me,reach someone near.' 'You are the nicest guy that ive ever met and i want everyone to know that'. 'Don't you dare to say goodbye to someone you really love.'

3 years ago,she left,she went far away from here,UK. After a few months,she came back,but never to return UK again,forever. She left me,left her family,she left everyone,she left this world. We miss you,Rini. Al-Fatihah

On that day,i never let myself fall in love again until i met this beautiful angel,Siti Khairunnisa binti Abdul Manan. But then again,i failed. She found a better replacement. Boy if you really love her,go for her,don't let her down. She suffered alot. Both of you are better together. I can tell. Don't worry about me. Im better alone. I guess.

Just did my daily istikharah and...idk what to say anymore. Sigh,Ya Allah.

Spent a lovely,wonderful evening with the familia,thank you so much mama,mummy(yazid's mom),yazid,hjh mallj,yusri,nicky,najibah and nabilah. You guys are always there to support me,to support my success,to support everything. I love you guys so much. May Allah bless you guys with everything in life. Thank you Allah for hearing my doa,everyday,everynight. Insyallah,I wont stop achieving my dreams from now.

And to bapa,thank you so much for praying for me,i know you're in a better place now,but i can still hear you pray for me. I love you,I miss you so much. I know,you would be happy for me if you were here with us. And i know i let you down before,but i'll be a better son,i'll take care of mama for you,insyallah. Its my time to shine now pa,i'll prove to everyone that i will achieve my dreams,i'll prove it for you,for mama,for me and for our family. I'll make your dreams come true pa. I will. I'll make you proud. I miss you. Al-Fatihah

I hope you know.

Just did my Istikharah and Hajat,and again,saw her beautiful face. but its too late for everything,i guess. Sigh. I Miss you, كيروننيسا مانان

Philippines,Maybe?

Here's the thing,early April mama told me if inda dapat Business School,will be going to study in the Philippines. For 3 years. Well,imagine Brunei without me for 3 years,sunyi wah tu Brunei! hahaha naaaaaaaaaaat!

BOOOOM! OUT!

I AM OFFICIALLY A FAILURE!! MEEEEEEEEEH! So,Ering Kiah told me that the Business School results are out but then she cant find my name,so she called the Business School Admin or whoever you wanna call it,to find out why i didnt get through? And its funny how the guys answered,they said my grades are toooooo HIGH to go to that college,so they overlooked my grades. I KNOW,RIDICULOUS. Well at least slot me in on ND kah apakah,ani??? Ering Kiah was pissed on how they responded,she told them THE HIGHER THE GRADES THE BETTER,NO? BE CONSIDERATE!

So now people dont only judge the lower graders but the higer ones pun? CALII JUA EH!

But We'll see how it goes cause i know if i get this,my life will change,forever. I wont stop praying,cause Allah is with me and i know he'll answer all my prayers,Insyallah.

And I'll make you proud Pa,I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD,keep your doa for me,for mama,for us. Keep smiling,Heaven is a place for you. Amin. I Miss You

Just One More Try,That's All I Want

I'll be 2 steps away. I'll be there for you.

yeap,never fail to make me smile.

Hey,if you're reading this,i hope you know that i miss you.

Al-Fatihah

15th

Gonna sleep with this song,on repeat.

We were stronger back then but that one day,i blew all of the trust and hurt you instead. I keep saying to myself,if i knew you were gonna surprise me that day,we wont be like this. Look at us now? Perfectly strangers. You don't even want to talk to me and you said we cant be friends or whatever. And when you told me you were with someone,i swear to God,i hurt myself badly,worst,that i cant feel my own hands. Im still doing it though,but its still not enough. I just wanna feel the pain that i cost you. Yeah,I deserve this,i really do. Anyway,it was supposed to be our 15th month together,but..
sigh.
Well,i'm fine if she's doing fine as well. Happy 15th,you know who you are.

DON'T YOU DARE MISS ME WHEN IM GONE!

I miss you but i try not to. You dont even know me.

Imma mess now,my phone is dead,i cant live without it,it'll cost me couple of hundreds to fix it. :S I SHALL GET A NEW ONE OR NOT?

SIGH

YA ALLAH :'(

BUT I LOVE YUSUF ISLAM'S VERSION

:'(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

I know that you wanted to say this...

I wanna get rid of all the bad things in me and be a loyal servant for Allah. Be a better Muslim and be a better guy,InsyaAllah.

You are beautiful,Don't ever doubt that. Lalalala~

LIFE GOES ON.