aMy.31

Friday, May 21, 2010. She said,I'm gonna be honest. I sometimes don't see us in the future and Love is such a strong word and Don't worry, I won't be there when you wake up. I won't be there to hurt you.


NO GIRL,I WON'T BE THERE TO HURT YOU! NOT YOU! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT ME AFTER THIS! I SWEAR!

The other day,Someone asked me why i lost weight? I smiled,and asked that person,did you ever hurt someone you love,until that someone really hates everything about you,she dont wanna talk to you,she dont wanna hear anything about you anymore,she dont give a fuck of yourself? I hate myself,and i hate myself for that,that's why i beat myself up with eating no rice,go for a long jog everyday,less sleep,do whatever things that can hurt myself. I want to feel what she felt,and i know its still not enough.
That person told me to move on. Again,I smiled,and told her i wont move on,i wont let love come in my life again,im done hurting people,im done with love,im done with all the bullshits i made. im done with everything.